Key Concepts: Relationships, Human Behavior, Friendships, Online Friendships, Internet Relationships, Texting

A number of years ago, while visiting my brother who lived hundreds of miles away, I remember that he told me, "Phone calls are sufficient. You don't need to spend time with people face to face." I had just asked him why he didn't spend more time with his two daughters who lived in a different state.

Oh boy, I know where this is headed, I thought to myself.

What kind of a relationship do you think my brother cultivated with his offspring? If you answered, "poor" you would be right. His relationships with his girls, based on his phone call philosophy, reaped non-existent ones for him.

Right up front I’ll also say that my brother and I have no relationship either. For him, I didn’t rise to the level of a telephone.

Some people don’t believe they need to invest themselves in their relationships. They leave everything to chance and the result is: burnt bridges, broken relationships and isolation.

You Cultivate Genuine and Trusting Relationships In-Person!

The willingness to spend time with those you have decided to love is the only way to cultivate genuine and trusting relationships.

Much of our emotional tone is seen in our faces, our body gestures, and felt in touches, hugs, and kisses. When we deprive another of our physical presence, we take away much of what we offer – our bodies, our emotions – our physicality.

A face to face interaction is not replaced by good thoughts, prayers, time on the phone, emails, social networking, video conferencing nor texting. You end up getting out what you put into it. A voice, your typing and tech skills or your heart.

Online Friends Are Great as Long as You've Got Your Face to Face Ones in Your Life

Don't get me wrong. I love my online friends. But none of us have any real idea of how we would get along were we actually face to face in the same room. That means online relationships are missing an essential layer,  physicality, that cannot be negotiated nor dealt with on the Internet...though some people certainly give it a good try.

Online relationships put a lot of space between two people, giving them more room to relate without the normal responsibilities required by face-to-face ones. While Internet groups give us a sense of friendship and even courtship, they are NOT the equivalent of a in-person one.

In truth, we react differently to people when we are in their presence. A whole different dynamic is brought into play. One that solidifies or distances us from each other. In-person the contact is more immediate, intensely personal and likely to promote greater & deeper intimacy. Also, the opposite can happen: We may not jive with someone we interact with on a physical plane and may have to re-evaluate how close we'd like to be to this person.

I vividly remember one incident that taught me about physicality and getting along with people. I was taking an acting class from a woman who had a strong personality with which I constantly collided. It wasn't pleasant. Half way through the class, she called me at home and we had a wonderful conversation on the phone. No personality run-ins whatsoever. Yet back in class the difficult relationships continued. That opened my eyes to how physicality changes relationship dynamics.

Go for Genuine and Lasting Relationships

A willingness to spend time with those who give meaning to your life is an essential principle for creating genuine and lasting relationships.

So call someone to make a date to spend some time over breakfast, lunch, dinner or to see a movie together. How about a walk through a park or on the beach? Good relationships require we spend time together.

Mary-Anne Reed is a professional writer who explores topics such as self-help, mind-body information, holistic health, relationships. She is also a watercolorist artist, graphic designer and web designer with her own greeting cardline, http://amazinggreetingcards.com. She has been married for almost 30 years to Brandt Reed, MFT (licensed Marriage, Family Therapist in California) who has more than 30 years experience counseling clients in areas such as relationships, depression, stress, careers.