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 Key Concepts: Relationships, Human Behavior, Dysfunctional Behavior, Behavior, The Problem, The Solution, Becoming Your Own Loving Parent, Poor Parenting, Good Parenting, Psychology, Freud
It’s safe to say: Every family has its dysfunction, but some families are more functional than others.
Dysfunctional behavior started somewhere. It has been passed down from generation to generation in families. For you, it began with your family of origin. But will it end with you, or will you affect your children with your own problems?
That depends on your willingness to admit that at least some of your behavior is less than exemplary. Then you must either have or acquire the ability to change this behavior.
IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO FREUD
Every since Sigmund Freud brought psychology to the forefront over 100 years ago, the identification of the individual and family as dysfunctional has hit the public with a steady wave of books, research material, articles, even films. (See our post on "Is ACA right for you?")
However, this blog is not about focusing on the problem of dysfunction but rather the solution.
WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?
Through the 12-step programs including AA, ACA, NA. Alanon and many similar groups, millions of people have discovered a path of moving from dysfunctional and unwanted behavior into a more functional, desirable and happy life by applying one principle.
What is this principle?
THE SOLUTION IS TO BECOME YOUR OWN LOVING PARENT
It’s simply turning the problem on its head. Since poor parenting is the cause of dysfunctional living, the solution is to get yourself some good parenting.
That means you detach psychologically from thinking of your parents of origin as your parents. Instead you cultivate within yourself a loving version of you as both your father and mother.
While chasing down this solution, other inherit problems will pop up such as, "If my parents were poor at what they did, how then do I discover good parenting?" Or "I have one good parent, do I have to throw away that parent too?" "Can I still be involved with my parents?"
Read about answers to these questions and more in our next blog about how to become your own loving parent.
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