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Relationships -
How to Have Great Relationships
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Written by Mary-Anne Reed
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Saturday, 27 June 2009 22:09 |
 How much honesty can your relationships handle?
That depends on you, your people skills, and the quality of your relationships.
During the 1970's through 1990's, the self help movement emphasized transparency and getting in touch with your feelings. Wives accused their husbands of being chauvinists; friends shared with other friends they were thought selfish; husbands scolded wives they were too independent. People, groups, therapists helping clients were caught up in "telling it like it is."
The end result?
While some relationships bloomed, others were destroyed. Learning everything about yourself from someone’s angry uncontrolled diatribe was experienced as unpleasant, often prejudiced and certainly insulting. This type of behavior resulted in little productivity in peoples' relationships.
The next phase in the area of transparency and honesty brought us to controlling our anger, thinking through what’s important, picking our fights and being more careful about what we divulged to others. No doubt, we as a people have had to go through evolutionary phases, learning there is value in moderation for telling the truth and expressing our feelings.
On the road to maturity, by the time you are middle aged, if you haven't figured out how to temper your mouth, you may be wondering what happened to your friends.
So how much honesty can your relationships handle?
If you have a healthy ego, have worked out what threatens you in others, seek to be fair and balanced in your relationships, and can explain your side of the equation without offending others, you and your significant others should be able to handle a sizable amount of honesty.
Next time we will explore: Telling the Truth in Love
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 July 2009 21:34 |
