You know more than you think you know. When you take the time to consider what you do know, you become aware of a wealth of inner knowledge. You can begin to understand what it is you want, what is happening in your life and the reasons for it.

My clients are often specialists and experts in their fields yet often not sure what what is going on in their personal relationships. They can’t tell me positively if their relationships are working, nor why or why not.

Men and women come into my office and say, “I can't figure out what is going on with my marriage”. Or, “I don’t understand why my friend treats me this way."

Despite their statements of denials, the reality is THEY DO KNOW; and they comprehend much more than they give themselves credit for. They haven't taken the time to consciously consider what's already inside their heads.

As we go through our day, we are picking up vast amounts of information consciously and subconsciously that get stored in the brain. Because we can only focus on a few things consciously at any given moment, we choose to filter out many messages that get laid down in the subconscious mind and brain. Nonetheless, that information is there.

Part of the reason we say we don’t know is because it takes mental work to bring it out. Also, this unconscious knowledge may be emotionally upsetting so it’s easier to not think about it. However, keeping ourselves in the dark can create fear and anxiety in an already stressful situation.

It takes courage and thinking time, but unless we acknowledge that we actually do understand what is going on, we are going to stay stuck. We are going to limit ourselves and deny ourselves choices that might free us from our situation.

When I ask clients to think about what they do know and verbalize it, they begin to grasp it. They are not in the black box they assumed they were in and there is a way out.

Better choices come about by honestly assessing what we do know, acknowledging them, and then deciding that whatever is done after that is based on a conscious understanding.

For many people this is freeing for many areas of their lives. The feeling of ignorance and/or helplessness leaves.

At first it may be difficult for you to honestly challenge your “not knowing”. It takes practice and perseverance. But if you are like most, the first step initiates a new way of conscious living that helps you take control of your life.