Thoughts to Ponder
Ideas, concepts, thoughts can inspire us, lift us up, make us think. All good things. Look to this section for thoughtful quotes, commentaries, poems, even lists.
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Thoughts to Ponder -
Daily Thought
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Written by Mary-Anne Reed
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Wednesday, 30 December 2009 00:00 |
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Key Concepts: New Year's Resolutions, Changing Habits, Human Behavior, Business Coach, Life Coach, Psychotherapist, Counseling
2010 is almost upon us. If you’re like me, you’re up to your old tricks, once again writing up those not-quite-realistic New Year’s Resolutions. Hope springs eternal with people who are always looking for the best, even in the face of grim reality. It’s good to be hopeful but it’s better to be successful.
The Story Begins
You know the scenario: “Oh boy, the new year is coming. I get to start over. That means I can stop feeling bad about the stuff I didn’t get done and begin again. I know what I’ll do! I’ll lose those 20 pounds I promised myself back ... almost 5 years ago. Also, I will save more money every month. Not repeat the last 3 years. Oh yeah, and I’ll finally get the garage cleaned up–all those papers laying around have been driving me crazy for years. And I’ll launch that wood art project I’ve been talking about ah...for the past10 years. Oh well, you can never tell because it’s the new year and there’s something about it that gets me going.”
But It’s the Same Old Story
Then fast forward over a month. It's Feburary 2010, just before Valentine’s Day: “My pants don’t fit. I’ve gained another 2 pounds. I’ve been really hungry lately. All the stress is getting to me. Where did I put that greeting card for my husband? It’s probably out in the junk pile in the garage. Well, I’ll give myself a few more months before I can say positively I must file myself under ‘I didn’t clean up the garage this year’ but hey it’s only February so I’ve got time. Too bad I had to pull out my savings for our special Valentine’s dinner. Maybe the moola will stick in there next month. And all my Twitter accounts and tweets are taking up all the time that I thought I’d portion over to my wood art project. But I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because I had no idea this was going to happen. Well, don’t worry about it. Somethings gotta work out here.”
Oscar Wilde, more than a century ago, put his pulse on human nature when he said: “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”
And therein lies the whole lame turkey. The reason none of us get our resolutions to flight is that we don’t properly fund the account entitled “New Year’s Resolutions.” Instead what we do is give them lip service and apply will power which is really weak power.
Saying, “I am going to lose weight,” when you haven’t in several years, won’t work. If you’re honest with yourself (as I must be with myself), strong reasons block your progress: 1) you’ve turned 40 or 50; 2) You stopped exercising regularly; 3) You’ve been overeating ever so slightly but steadily for 5 years and your eating patterns rely on stress and demand rather than on planning; 4) Your demanding life takes the muscle out of a potentially successful weight loss program–it’s more difficult than you’ve been willing to admit; 5) You feel overwhelmed by all the steps required to reach this goal.
It Doesn’t Get Easier
What you haven’t been willing or able to do in the past year (or more) does not get any easier because you’re crossing over into a new year (or decade). In fact, the longer you put off doing something the more resistant you become. Changing a habit or reaching a particular goal may feel paramount to lifting up the Empire State building with a tire pump.
But it’s not all that bad. Afterall, you made it through the year in one piece. If you were to contemplate it, you would realize you’ve accomplished quite a bit–though still not an item on that blasted list.
Go for the Positive
So give yourself credit for the things you have done. Yes, pat yourself on the back for how you keep your life going and off the streets. You’re not homeless! You’ve created a lot of good things with your life and now’s the time to realize it.
Getting down on yourself will produce nothing but grief and frustration. You can attract yourself into doing more by being supportive. Positive reinforcement works. Judgment and criticism will only guarantee more failure.
Face Yourself
Then when you’re done praising yourself, go stand in front of the mirror and ask: “Am I ready to handle even one area of my New Year’s Resolution List. If so, which one is the most important?” (Some of you pros at making goals & reaching them can ignore this and even this article. You’ve got your life handled. For the rest, be assured that many people are struggling and want to know more about how to make their resolutions go.)
If you have trouble meeting your difficult goals, choose one goal! You might complete the easiest one and work your way up the ladder to the most challenging. This will cultivate confidence and perseverance in you.
Create a plan
Do you have an understanding of exactly what it will take for you to execute even one item on your list? If not, you must get a vision for what it will take.
If it’s weight loss, break it down into segments and begin working on each part bit by bit. Visualize yourself doing this habit everyday. The brain does not know the difference between imagination and reality; it begins to learn the minute you start thinking about it. Once the brain receives a picture, an action sequence, it begins growing dendrites to handle it. So practice your visualizations 3 to 4 times a day.
You may ask: Is all this necessary? But don’t forget, you have not done it thus far and for a good reason. Remember your New Year’s Resolution bank account needs funds. All these exercises produce dividends which make deposits into that heretofore empty treasury.
Build Slowly Step by Step
Research shows the brain remembers better when you take it slow and give yourself breaks inbetween. Also it takes about 3 weeks to install a new habit. So what about making each segment occur over a 21 days period before adding a new one.
Example:
Step 1: Weigh yourself everyday and record the weight. (21 Days)
Step 2: Record everything you eat in a journal every day. (21 Days)
Step 3: Plan all your meals (6 small low-carb meals) and record that in your journal every day. (21 Days)
Spend 21 days on step 1, then while continuing on step 1, add step 2 for another 21 days. Keep your habit learning on slow and you’ll be gaining skill, ingraining your regime into your brain at the right rate to insure success.
Keep the Positives Rolling
Be sure to use positive reinforcement when you take or complete even a small step. Congratulate yourself. Say in thought or word, “That’s great. You planned all your meals and stuck to it today. Wonderful!”
When you fail to deliver the goods, talk kindly to yourself, “Okay, you didn’t do it, but you will tomorrow. Get back on your horse. Now’s the time to push forward. You can do it.” Stay away from negative language, cursing, condemnation.
If you’re more of a fast learner and starter, you can try cutting down on the learning curve by building your steps more quickly. Perhaps 7 days each or even less. If you find you can do it, continue. If not, go back to the 21 day ritual.
Partner with someone
Often we are lousy at keeping promises to ourself but shine when we know we have to meet someone else’s deadlines or appointment. By finding someone to share accountability, you will create support and motivation for yourself to complete your steps and conquer those pesky resolutions.
A partner that shares a similar goal is the best choice. Together you can chart your success course. Barring no one available, choose someone you can trust to report on your status. Perhaps sending a daily or semi-weekly email detailing everything you’ve accomplished for that day would keep you on track. Ask your partner or accountability person to email or call you to ask how you are doing.
Find a Professional
If working up a success strategy, implementing steps slowly, and partnering with another don’t bring you the results you want, you may find it helpful to work with a professionally trained life or business coach or a psychotherapist to facilitate making your New Year’s Resolutions Fly!
Remember, making a New Year’s Resolution list is probably not enough to guarantee your success. But if it is, I congratulate you for standing out from the crowd!
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Last Updated on Thursday, 31 December 2009 03:31 |
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Thoughts to Ponder -
Inspirational Quotes
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Written by Administrator
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Thursday, 06 August 2009 00:00 |
 It's Good To Think!
Behind me is infinite power,
Before me is endless possibility,
Around me is boundless opportunity.
Why should I fear?
- The nature of success "It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference." Tom Brokaw Perspective is the ability to use the right lens at the time when things look their worst. "You can always change your plan, but only if you have one." ~ Randy Pausch "Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." - Dr. Joyce Brothers "Turn your wounds into wisdom." ~ Oprah Winfrey When you find the Love, you find yourself - Sidi Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind. Zig Ziglar You won't achieve your best by expecting the worst.- Unknown The secret to major leaps in creative thought is relaxing the mind and connecting to source energy- Ray Stendel Success in life can never be an accident. It is the result of right decisions at the right time. -- Unknown Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. - jenn.twilight My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing. - Jessica Alba I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying. - Michael Jordan It usually takes me more than 3 weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain
Your fortune is not something to find but to unfold.- Eric Butterworth Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. -- Brian Tracy Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. -- Mark Twain
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 12 August 2009 22:36 |
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Thoughts to Ponder -
Daily Thought
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Written by Administrator
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Thursday, 11 June 2009 00:00 |
It's Good To Think! Behind me is infinite power,
Before me is endless possibility,
Around me is boundless opportunity.
Why should I fear?
- The nature of success
It’s not the super wealthy who can do what they want. It’s the person who has mastered self.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
The most successful have failures, heartaches, discouragement. They just don’t let that stop them from reaching their goals.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one. That way when we meet the right person, we’ll know the difference and be grateful.
"It would be impossible to love another person without first feeling love for yourself, because how could you give away something that you don't have?" –-Denis Waitley
The best kind of friend is one with whom you can be alone, not say a word, yet walk away feeling you’ve just been with someone special.
One way to get people to like you is to like them first. We can't really hide our true feelings. People who love others are loved back.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true hat we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Don't go for looks; the best lookers can be the worst companions.
Don't go for wealth; money won’t keep you emotionally warm and hug you.
Go for the person who believes the way you do. Someone who makes you laugh and smile. Someone who’s willing to stick around when times get tough. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always try to see things from another’s viewpoint. You need 3 viewpoints to make relationships work. Yours, theirs and God’s.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. ive your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. |
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Last Updated on Friday, 07 August 2009 01:25 |
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Thoughts to Ponder -
Inspirational Quotes
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Written by Administrator
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Tuesday, 09 June 2009 17:49 |
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There is no failure except in no longer trying." --Elbert Hubbard, American writer
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 16 June 2009 21:37 |
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Thoughts to Ponder -
Inspirational Quotes
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 08 June 2009 18:02 |
 Lighten Up!
It’s really important for all of us to remember to lighten up, not to take life so incredibly seriously. When we do we lose our perspective and sense of humor.
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 10 June 2009 22:15 |
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