Key Concepts: A Christmas Carol, Christmas, Giving, Changing Behavior, Holidays, Shift in Focus

Every year each of us must look afresh at the approaching holiday season and determine our theme for this year’s end. Happiness, joy, depression, lack, abundance, time for celebration or time for weeping.

Certainly people encounter tragedy—grieving may be their only option during a time of trial. Others on the other hand may be experiencing joy as they enter into marriage, get a job promotion, receive a new baby into their household, find their soulmate. These are reasons to celebrate.

MORE TO DO WITH OUR BELIEF SYSTEM

But more often than not, our attitudes at Christmas have less to do with tragedies or celebrations and more to do with what we’ve chosen to believe about our life. Because of its intensity and association with family, especially at Christmas, we are forced into deciding what our lives are all about.

So for you is Christmas about: You, your problems, what’s lacking in your life? Or how your life is interwoven with others and how you can show appreciation by giving and enhancing their lives?

Focusing on what’s wrong with everything is a sure way to defeat a potentially terrific holiday season. It may be true that you don’t have much family or that you’re out of work. It’s possible you have a health problem or someone in your family is sick. You may have a long list of concerns. Or perhaps you are aware of your many blessings.

REFOCUSING YOUR THOUGHTS

If you're into a negative spot, refocusing your thoughts on what you’re grateful for and how you can make a contribution to someone else’s life can turn everything around. It will make your self-esteem soar and open you up for unexpected blessings.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Dicken’s classic tale about Scrooge, retold cleverly by Disney in 3D animation, has been marvelously popular because its underlying theme about renewal and redemption at Christmas are ones we understand.

By nature we favor self, which is necessary for our survival. However, in order to find meaning and significance in life, we must learn to include others’ wellbeing into our thinking.

Not a spring chicken, old man Scrooge is the ultimate self-indulgent person, caring for no one but himself, resenting others and their enjoyment of the holidays. To rattle him, to get him to let go of his self-absorption, he must be shocked into realizing how a life lived solely for self is in the end self-defeating, creating misery and isolation. As Scrooge gets an overall perspective on his life, he is enabled to stop being so me me me and begin caring for and serving others. His transformation happens when he is visited by three ghosts: Christmas Past, Present, Future.

Happy to have come out of his experience alive, a new man, Ebeneezer Scrooge celebrates by helping out his poorly paid employee Bob Cratchet, giving him a raise, providing dinner and gifts to Bob's family and promising to pay for the ailing Tiny Tim's healthcare. He also surprises his nephew by showing up for Christmas dinner. All these behaviors would have been completely impossible based on his former miserly and miserable, uncharitable life.

By the story’s end, Scrooge has left behind his old self-defeated self-absorbed life, discovering joy and meaning in helping and merry-making with others.

THE ULTIMATE MESSAGE OF CHRISTMAS

Christmas’ ultimate message is about the child born in a manger over 2000 years ago. The story began in a lowly place, but Jesus’ life expanded step by step until he changed the world because he was willing to give up all self-absorption and offer hope and meaning through self-sacrifice.

Surely, it is not asking too much of us this Christmas, if we can forget a little of ourselves and find meaning in the giving of ourselves to others for their benefit. May each of us at this special time of the year find a reason to celebrate and give gifts of love to others. As Tiny Tim would say, “May God bless us everyone!”

If you haven’t heard Andreas Bocelli sing “God Bless Us Everyone” from Disney “A Christmas Carole”, here it is on YouTube.

Addictions, obsessions, out of control behavior, angry outbursts, hate, and desire for revenge – any of these and more – could cost us something down the road. Might be a relationship, a spouse, a good friend, our health, a dream, and yes, even our life could be taken from exercising poor judgment.

I found David Carradine’s death difficult to ignore and accept as your every day standard obituary. Certain celebrities have a way of integrating into our life so that we begin to feel we know them. Of course, we don’t know them but our brains tell us we do.

In getting to know David, I felt the pangs of grief at his death. However, I am determined not to let David to have died in vain from my vantage point. I intend to be reminded that all my behaviors count – they will make or break me.